


In the Blue of His Eyes

by OlicityIBelieve



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 4x09 final scene, 4x09 speculation, F/M, olicity angst, speculations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-04 01:29:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5315114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlicityIBelieve/pseuds/OlicityIBelieve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Speculation for the final scene of 4x09. Oliver proposed to Felicity after winning the mayoral elections. They get into a limo, going back to the safety of their home to celebrate their engagement… when something terrible happens along the road.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

##  **In the blue of his eyes**

In the blue of his eyes, she can see fear and pain. These are not hers. She doesn’t feel anything anymore. Her body is heavy and her mind numb. She tries to move, tries to breathe, but the only thing she can do is look into the blue of his eyes. The pain is gone. One heartbeat at a time, life is leaving her body. She ignores the extent of her injuries, but she can read it in the blue of his eyes. She knows it’s bad, very, very bad. She doesn’t feel his arms around her, his thumb stroking her cheek. She doesn’t feel the burn of her injuries. The only thing she can do is stare into his eyes and hold onto the love and life she sees in them. He calls for her, for her to stay with him but she can’t reply. Words that seemed so natural for her are now a luxury she can’t afford. She tries to speak but the metallic taste of blood overwhelms her senses. Her mouth can’t express the fear that runs in her veins right now, the very same fear she reads in the blue of his eyes.

 

In the blue of his eyes she can see the future they grazed with their joined fingers a few moments ago, a future that she sees dying in his eyes. She struggles to breathe, but she can remember the emotion in his gaze when she said yes, how fast her heart was beating out of love for this wonderful man, how warm his breath was in her neck when he pulled her into his arms, happier than he has ever been in his life. She gasps in a desperate effort to stay conscious, trying to breathe for the man who always takes her breath away. It looks like he’s trying to calm her down but her body refuses to cooperate. She knows she should do as she’s told. Calming down, breathing, staying with him… but her mind is somewhere else, already gone in a world where only the two of them exist. Life is leaving her body as her soul fights to remain alive.

 

In the blue of his eyes she can see the man she fears will never be her husband. The man she will never walk toward and say, “I do” to. The man who will never call her Mrs. Queen. The man who will never cry out in joy when she tells him she’s pregnant with their first child. The man she will never grow old with. She sees him and all her dreams, all  _their_ dreams fade away. She wants to keep these dreams alive but one by one, they turn into ashes as blood leaves her body, as tears run down on his cheeks. In the blue of his eyes she can see the partner who has shared his journey with her, the friend who has let her in when he was surrounded by darkness, the hero she fell in love with, the man who made her discover the true meaning of love. Through the tears she can see all these moments when they laughed, joked, whispered, moaned, loved, lived together. She can see all of it. She can see every single memory she cherishes vanish in front of her, replaced by silence and emptiness. One heartbeat at a time, the colors of her life are stained by the darkness of death. Nothing remains but the blue of his eyes. 

 

The blue of his eyes. She tries to remember it once last time. No matter where she is about to go, she will hold on to the blue of his eyes, to the love she sees in it. If she is blessed enough to be given a second chance, she will fight to see the blue of his eyes again. She blinks a few times, struggling to focus on him. She hears him yelling her name. She fights. She fights with everything she has to stay with him, to have a chance to tell him once more how much she loves him, to look in his eyes after they make love, when no words are needed. She wants to breathe but blood fills her mouth. What used to be the symbol of life is now the threat of death. She coughs a few times in a desperate attempt to stay with him but she doesn’t have the strength to fight any longer. 

 

The blue of his eyes is no more. She closes her eyes. Everything is dark.


	2. In the Blue of Her Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after 4x09 - Oliver and Felicity adjust to their new life and the challenges that it brings to their couple.

In the blue of her eyes he would like to lose himself. Look at her soul for hours, forget about time, about their life, about the danger that surrounds them and just enjoy the calm sea of her gaze. He would like her to allow him to see her eyes one more time, giving him the strength that he has lost without her, offering him the hope he needs to keep on breathing, providing him with a peace he cannot find anymore. He waits by her side, holds her still but warm hand, caresses the skin of her arm in a desperate attempt to disperse the darkness she hasn’t given up on fighting. He only lives for the moment she will be back to him. He can’t leave her for too long, her presence necessary to his soul. The days pass and look alike. He wakes up holding her hand. He looks after her for a few hours, his hopeful heart beating painfully in his chest. He fights to appease his anger, to avenge her pain. He comes back to her when only the moon lights her hospital room, the agony on his face invisible in the darkness of the night. He lets go for a few moments, broken by the fatigue, by his draining search for Damien Darhk, by the absence of her smile. He kisses her forehead. He kisses her lips softly. Like every night. He falls asleep holding her hand, dreaming about the blue of her eyes.

***

In the blue of her eyes he sees confusion, pain and panic. She looks around, afraid, lost in a reality she can’t comprehend just yet. The darkness continues to surround her in her first moments back to him. Carefully, he places his palms on either side of her face, encouraging her to look at him, to reconnect with him. Her eyes meet his and he feels like the world makes sense again. His forehead touches hers. The look on her face softens, her breathing evens out, her grasp on the sheets disappears. They spend what feels like an eternity simply looking at each other, breathing the same air, savouring the pleasure to be reunited and alive. She reads on his face everything she needs to know. The happiness in his smile, the relief in the tears he holds back, the love in his eyes, the fatigue on his skin, the anger in the bruises that darken his jawline.

“I love you Felicity, I love you so much” he keeps on repeating, a prayer to the love of his life finally back to him. She chuckles softly when he peppers kisses on her face, her jaw, then down to her neck where he buries his face. She holds on to him, giving as much as she receives, feeling the strength of his love warming her heart. She manages to whisper a hoarse “What happened?” as the need for explanation grows stronger in her.

“You’re okay now” he murmurs against her skin, the reality of her spinal cord injury a lie on his tongue. She senses the doubt in him and she softly brings his face back to hers. He can’t look at the blue of her eyes anymore. He needs a second to hide the fury that still lives in him and refocus on her, he needs a second to be strong for the two of them, he needs a second to find the strength to let her know that her life will never be the same, he needs a second to make her understand that nothing will change between them. One second later, he looks at her in the blue of her eyes.

***

The blue of her eyes has kept escaping him for weeks now. Her look remains focused on the grey sky of Star City. She spends hours looking outside from her hospital bed, searching for an impossible answer to her new condition. His heart tightens every time her eyes see him but don’t look at him. She manages to talk to him, sometimes even smile at him but the happiness in her has disappeared, replaced by the emptiness of the unknown and unexplained. Her mind fights the new reality of her body and her soul pays the price. He tries to bring her spirit back into their best moments, discussing about their time together, at the lair, around the world or in Ivy Town. The more words he speaks, the further away her look drifts and the quieter she becomes. He stops talking. He holds her when silent tears mourn her ability to walk. He kisses her eyelids when she falls asleep in his arms, not a word having left her mouth for the entire day. She wakes up the day after and the blue of her eyes remains anchored in the white and snowy morning sky.

As the solution to her lethargy strikes him, he grabs two blankets in the closet as well as thick socks in the drawer. Her eyes lay on him, follow him across the room as he puts his jacket on. Confusion overwhelms her when he pulls the bedsheet off her, exposing her to him for the first time in weeks. The frown on her forehead doesn’t stop him when he puts her socks on and then wraps her in both blankets.

“Oliver, what are you…” she protests weakly.

“You’re coming with me” he cuts her with an enigmatic smile.

Careful to place the last remaining IV on her lap, he scoops her into his arms with an extreme caution. Her body feels different against his but so natural. He hasn’t felt her that close to him for weeks and he knows she can feel the erratic rhythm of his heart. She doesn’t question him. Her eyes remain shut as she relaxed into his embrace, breathing into his neck, caressing his chest, authorizing herself to feel the man she loves under her fingers as he carries her in the deserted corridors. He knows she feels safe with him, wrapped up in a cocoon of warmth and love. He can’t help but smile for the first time in days as he opens the back door that leads to the private backyard of the rehabilitation center. Her head pops up from the blanket as soon as the crispy air hits her. She looks at her surroundings, stunned by the normality of the scene. The open space. The trees. The life behind the walls of her hospital room. The snow is falling on her face and the cold sensation has never made her feel that alive. She inhales deeply, until her healing scars remind her of her recent injury. She risks a hand out of the blanket, reaches for the sky as she opens her palm to capture for a second the ephemerality of a snowflake. Her cheeks are pink because of the cold but also because of the excitement that floods into her system. She finally turns her head to him and he is rewarded by this smile that he knows is only his. Her cold hand reaches for the back of his neck and for the first time in weeks, her lips are demanding under his. She kisses him with the happiness of someone who feels alive again, with the devotion of a woman who feels loved, with the gratitude of a partner who has been silently listened. When he pulls away from her, the blue of her eyes is different. Not quite the one he is used to but the sadness of her soul seems to fade away, replaced by the spark of life.

***

In the blue of her eyes he now sees a different spark. The icy, cold, ravaging spark of anger. He is the only one to see it. The spark turns into a destroying fire when she is tired after an exhausting and unsuccessful physical therapy session. When the pain has kept her awake for the entire night, unable to turn in their bed like she had wanted. When she wants to do things by herself but still needs to learn the patience of her new life. When his kisses get too passionate and she pulls away from him, afraid of her own response to his love.

He is the only one to see that spark. It never lasts more than a few seconds, a few seconds for her to take control over her senses and give him this smile he loves so much. It never really goes away either. He is not fooled by her efforts to hide it from him. He is simply afraid of the feelings feeding it. Perpetual anger, frustration, sadness, pain, discomfort that never really get out. He knows she needs to eventually. The spark is consuming her. He knows that way too well. Only her love for him has managed to control this destroying fire within him. The more he encourages her to let it go, the less she wants to discuss it and the stronger the spark gets. 

She lets go on an ordinary day. She asks him to grab Italian on his way back from a late meeting at his campaign headquarters. The normality of the request makes him smile. He thinks that one day at a time, they are reinventing their life together, never forgetting what used to make their previous one successful. Love, friendship, communication and simple moments together.

As he opens the door he doesn’t expect to see the dinner table waiting for him. Candles are lit, plates and cutlery are set up on the immaculate white tablecloth. He doesn’t expect to see glass shattered all over the floor and an empty wheelchair near the kitchen. He calls her name before hearing her sobs. He moves towards the kitchen and finds her on the floor, among the broken glass. She holds what is left of two wine glasses, sobbing silently. He crouches down to lift her chin and ensures she is okay.

“I’m sorry… I just wanted to… supposed to be a surprise… and then they fell on the floor… and I just couldn’t… I couldn’t Oliver, I couldn’t…” her voice breaks under the weight of her tears.

Sitting on the floor, among the shattered glass, he gently wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her against his heart. He holds her. He holds her as she cries her frustration, anger and pain out. He rocks her softly when her fists hit his chest desperately. He kisses the top of her head when why is the only word her lips can form. He whispers words of love when she surrenders and allows sadness to wash over her. He carries her to their bedroom when she collapses out of exhaustion in his arms, an eternity later. He can’t see her eyes anymore when he places the cover on her now limp body but he knows that the ice in her eyes will not be anymore.

***

In the blue of her eyes he sees the woman he has always loved. He sees a radiant smile, he sees a bond, he sees happiness and pleasure. She doesn’t look away and she loses herself in him for what seems like a lifetime. Her head is comfortably resting on his naked shoulder, his fingers caressing her blond hair and if her hand is dancing across his chest, her eyes never leave his.

He sees in her eyes the reflection of his own happiness. After months without each other, they are now fully and truly back together. Her skin still feels like silk under his fingers, her moans still sound like heaven in his ears, her body still brings an infinite pleasure to his soul, her kisses still make him the happiest person in the world. Her body reacts differently now and he has taken – and given - great pleasure in mapping the new sensibility that is hers, making sure that she would receive as much, if not more, than before the shooting.

It took them a long time to get over their respective fears, one not wanting to hurt the other, the other not wanting to disappoint the one. They talked, experienced, reinvented, redefined their physical love. The technicality of her new body has been long forgotten in front of the power of their connection, of their need for each other. 

Life is different now but for the best. Never before have they felt so connected to each other. If they had found themselves in each other in the past, they found the definition of love, future and marriage in this journey. No one knows what tomorrow will be like but the present can be defined by what they see in each other’s eyes. A soulmate. A life partner. An indestructible intimacy. A bond that nothing could ever altered. A response to the ultimate evil in this world. Love.


End file.
